Beginnings and Ends

I stole moments away to go through his backpack, talk about what he wanted for breakfast the next day and packed in his lunchbox, and read a book, My First Day of Kindergarten...and it was off to bed for our sweet little boy like any other night, except this to me, was a big ending of the years we have been so blessed to have Brayden at home just being a baby/toddler/young boy/. Very bittersweet in the most emotional way and thankful Mike wasn't working that night so I could cuddle up with him and watch a movie to kind of put it on the backburner. I'll dwell on it a bit too much and I'm thankful that our busy lifestyle allows just enough thinking for me to enjoy the moments and treasure the memories but not become a total emotional basket case!

The first morning was a whirlwind of excitement, activity, and a Mommy that didn't quite have it all together on her first day getting her kid ready for school and herself ready for work at the same time (Yes all you Mommas out there, whether stay at home, multiple kids, working or not, you ROCK!) but we did manage to take my much desired pictures, give kisses to Paytin and Daddy, and make it to school just before the final bell rang. I threw his backpack and lunchbox on his little #3 Brayden hook, and threw his adorable wood circle nametag around his neck in time for him to get in line for his very first assembly. Not sure if it was the relief that we made it in time and the lack of being able to get emotional during the chaotic getting ready part of the morning, or the watching him walk away down a hallway in an adorable line of nervously excited little 5 year olds, but the tears started flowly readily and before I knew it I was choking back sobs. So grateful for the other understanding parents, and in particular, my boss and friend for knowing just how I felt. I watched the assembly, signed up for some PTA events, and off to work I went with a celebratory "First Day of School" breakfast with my boss and her husband, and a special treat of driving by the school (literally around the corner from my work) on our way back to the office to see my sweet boy happily playing with 4-5 other boys on the dome in the playground. I melted and my heart was so full and so grateful for that small glimpse into his first day, so proud to see him playing with kids he just met like it was no big deal, for making friends and being outgoing, just overwhelmed. No tears, because it was back to work time, but blessed in the best way!

Just 4 hours later I picked up a sweaty, smiling, jumping up and down boy from his line, and the first things he said were "I made two friends today and ate almost all my lunch!" And then chatted with me on the way home about his first day of singing songs, having a book read to them, playing outside, and making a puzzle. I'll post a picture another time of the adorable handprint puzzle the kids each made with a sweet poem talking about working on the puzzle together with their mom and dad so they could tell us about their first day at the same time, I LOVED it! He came home wanting to draw, color, and cut and couldnt stop talking about school. It was at that moment that I realized how grateful I was for our decision to not to do preschool for Brayden in particular. Instead of apprehension or anxiety, Bray was totally ready and excited for school because it was the right time for him. He got to spend the time with Paytin that I so desired, but now is big enough and old enough to need his own time to learn and be taught away from us. It might not be that way with Paytin, she may go to Preschool, who knows? But for Brayden who is very outgoing but can take a bit to warm up to things and is sensitive, this couldnt have worked out better.

He asked last night if they had Kindergarten at night time, or if we could stop by his teacher's house to say hi to her :). SO sweet!

Welcome to Kindergartern sweet boy, I hope your year is as wonderful as you are!

Home Stretch

We're in the home stretch of our 2013 Summer and it's been such a whirlwind! This summer we have celebrated both of our babies' birthdays, gone to the waterslides, the movies, boating, lake day trips, had sleepovers, been camping, done concerts, MOVED, gone to Chuck E Cheese, went to Summer Camp, had a garage sale, gone fishing, gone kayaking, etc. The list really is long of what we were able to do this summer and I'm so thankful as this is our last summer before Bray starts school! That's another post of nostalgia, but we have roughly 2 1/2 to 3 weeks left of our summer and I can say I have both thoroughly enjoyed it and wondered where it went at the same time. We made lots and lots of memories, learned a ton, and grew even more over this summer. But this picture captures a lot of how this summer felt for us, adventurous, carefree, joyous, ready to leap out in faith! These kids have been troopers on this crazy ride we call the Kincaid life; I'd like to say it will make them more flexible, roll with the punches adults who are able to face changes and busy seasons without problems. They live every day with such happiness and excitedness that it's totally contagious. As our time with Bray "all to ourselves" is wrapping up, I again have full peace in the decision to keep him home with us and forego preschool. The bond that these two have formed, the time they have been able to spend together has been priceless in my heart. Paytin adores Brayden and wants to do anything he does, wants to play with him, with his friends, with his toys, and just overalls loves him to peices. I know she will miss him a ton when he is in school even a few hours a day and I'm grateful for the moments and the days they spent carefree time together over this summer!

No Time for Tears

My Paytin is 2, my beloved daughter, the princess of our hearts and apple of our eye....the little girl that makes life seems to sparkle and shine like never before. Paytin often makes us just stop, in the midst of all the craziness, and smile and laugh like only she can. She dances and sings, she cracks a smirk, a smug little face, or does her famous skip hop and loving life run, and we're putty.

Because I love this little girl so very very much, and because it is such a joy to have one of each, a boy and a girl, to witness going through these different stages in their lives, I'm actually very thankful her birthday week was a whirlwind of activity with only a few moments for me to reflect emotionally on how fast the time has gone.

On her actual birthday eve, we took a spontaneous trip to Reno to stay overnight and enjoy the waterpark the next day. I was in Mommy heaven watching the kids and Mike soak up the trapeze and circus show, and my heart melted when Brayden gave the first stuffed animal he won of the night to Paytin as his own personal birthday gift to her. I scored some one on one late time out with my guy thanks to Auntie Katie accompanying us on the trip, and before we knew it it was morning time and time for the waterpark. Still unsure how the kids would do, if it would be warm enough, if we all got enough sleep, I was thrilled that we spent even more time than I originally thought we would at the park. Paytin splished and splashed to her hearts content in the kiddie pool area, and just loved going down the kiddie slides with Daddy and I, She sat on our laps down the slide, slid side by side, and each time it was like the first time for her. She was all smiles and ate it up. Our sensitive and tenderhearted Brayden is quickly blossoming into a more fierce and brave boy. He went down the slides fearlessly, both on tubes, and just on his butt. Daddy even got him to slide on his belly towards the end and he did it over and over again he was so proud of himself! Throughout the day we got to try some of the "adult" slides and take turns with the kids with Auntie Katie, that was a lot of fun. Also, we learned that Brayden was just barely big enough to hit some of the big slides too. He really enjoyed going down a really large slide that was a two person tube one; Mike and I can be such overprotective parents sometimes and water is one of our sensitive areas with our kids. It was so much fun to see how excited Brayden was though about that big slide, and we both enjoyed taking turns taking him on it. The one we were most nervous about was a really tall slide that is the one you lay on the mat and race down. Neither or us could hold onto him, and just had to hope and trust that he wouldnt get scared about the water flying in his face since there is nothing we could do about it on the way down, what a champ! He loved it. But hands down, all the excitedment of the slides aside, my favorite part of the entire trip was when Paytin fell asleep in my arms laying on the two person floaty in the lazy lagoon. She never falls asleep in the middle of nowhere, much less anywhere besides her crib or carseat. Mike and Katie got to hit the slides with Brayden and Paytin and I floated around the whole lazy lagoon about 6-7 times just snuggling and me watching her blissfully as she slept. It's a moment I'll never forget, getting to reflect on her birth two years before and just how much we adore her!

Her birthday party was simply chaotic fun. She got spoiled rotten and had a really fun and loudly decorated Minnie Mouse party this year. She isn't into "TV" at all, so we just picked a theme and went with it. Since our friends had leftover Minnie Mouse Decorations, that worked out perfect! We had family and friends out, celebrated in the backyard with delicious food cooked by Mike's mom and then followed by cupcakes and ice cream and presents. It was fun watching her enjoy unwrapping the gifts and getting excited about each one. She's such a busy body and loves such a myriad of things, all her presents were perfect for her! The big hit of the party was all the water play like usual. Grandpa got her a new water table, and that combined with the kiddie pool, slide and slide, and hot tub, and it was a soaking wet party. It does seem like somewhat of a blur to me, but all I know is we had so much fun celebrating such a wild, fun and wacky little girl full of spunk! Here's to your second year baby girl!

Thunderstorm

*I still have a lot to catch up on from Paytin's 2nd Birthday fesitivities, but that will have to wait to a time when I can put pics up and actually write for awhile :)!*

Last night we had unexpected thunder, lightening, and rainstorms. We were driving home from friends' house late and had fun watching them as we came down the mountain. Brayden was allowed to stay up and snuggle on the couch with us and watch TV, and he was just fascinated by all the lightening and the thunder. His little mind is constantly going it seems with a need to explain why everything happens or how it happens, I love the way he thinks! Last night he told us "Do you know why you can hear the funder? Because God was sitting down up there, and wanted to ride his bike, so he is taking big steps *boom boom boom* until he gets to his bike. He's riding bikes with Papa on the Golden Road.".....

It was a very simple, sweet, and thoughtful moment on his part. I love when he brings his Papa up in everyday life because I want him to be happy when he thinks of him, happy that he is in Heaven, and I dont want him to forget the huge impact he had on his life, even if he was only able to participate in it on earth for a mere 4 years. Just trying to put myself in his shoes, thinking up and picturing that scene in my mind, with our Awesome God and his amazing Papa, up there riding bikes on the Golden Road no less...love what comes out of the mouths of babes!

T-Ball

just came to an end today, and while I had a quick minute, I thought I would post about what a wonderful time Brayden had and what a great experience it was for him and us as a family. This was Bray's first year playing T-ball and he was really excited to play. Neither Mike or I played t-ball or baseball, and even though we have a basic understanding of the game, it was fun to have our son play a sport neither of us knew much about. We were blessed to be on an amazing team this year, with a great coach who's teenage kids helped coach the entire season. Seriously, they were amazing. It's because of them that Brayden knows as much as he does after only one season, its because of them he had so much fun, its because of them that he got a great concept of playing for fun and playing as a team. Every practice was so fun to watch, so well organized, and each game was hilarious and cute and so much fun to watch. I loved seeing how excited Brayden would get as he continued to improve throughout the whole season. I watched him really "take to" this sport much more than he did with soccer. He can be pretty patient and focused when he wants too and loved getting ready to catch and field the ball, always yelled "ready" first whenever coach asked if they were ready, and was well known for having his big personality in all the practices and games. I got a ton of sweet comments and compliments about how cute it was that Bray would give us a thumbs up after getting to his base, after he would ask us if we were watching, or if we saw his hit or his catch, that he would do a little dance move after doing something right. What a confidence and self esteem booster being able to play a team sport like this. He loved the snow cones after the game, loved meeting new friends and playing with them before the games. Paytin equally learned to love watching him play and would always yell "Go Bray" when he was up to bat. A couple of time he stopped before he hit to say "thanks Paytin!" So sweet and melted my Mommy heart. Today was our very last game, and soon we will have closing ceremonies where Brayden will get his first ever trophy. He is very excited about that.

I just wanted to document these precious memories of such a fun time in our lives of starting sports and learning such important life and character lessons that hopefully will stay with him his whole life!



 

Bright Orange Ball

We were having a family get together tonight for the February birthdays in the family and I ran to the grocery store for a "few" things that turned into a weeks worth of shopping. While making my way through the store, I saw one of those bins of balls they occasionally carry. Nothing special about them at all but I impulsively bought a $2.99 bright orange ball for the kids to enjoy.

I should have known when I helped bag my groceries and then the cashier totally accidentally voided the entire transaction after everything was scanned and then bagged by yours truly to watch out. Krazy Kincaid moments go hand in hand and I should have been on the lookout...

But I loaded up my groceries and headed home, so excited about that insignificant bright orange ball in the backseat to surprise my kids with. I pulled up at home, and impulsively again decided to throw the keys in my purse, hit the unlock button and was going to just walk that bright orange ball in first without grabbing my purse.

Whoops, this blonde accidentally hit the "lock" button and by the time I realized it, the damage was done. My purse sat there in the passenger seat teasing me with how the keys shone in the sunlight. The cold beer and ice cream cake mocked me from the backseat, and there sat that bright orange ball, just out of touch.

An hour later, a tow truck driver, a kid who had a great time watching our vehicle getting "broken" into, a very patient hubby, chalking it up to a blonde moment, finally at last the bright orange ball found its way to its new home and was so well loved and played with that it was all worth it in the end.

Sometimes these insignificant life stories are my favorites and we seem to have a lot of them. But as I watched Bray and Pay playing with that ball this afternoon all I could do was chuckle at what had happened!

O Happy Day

Another Valentines Day, and another year older for my Main Squeeze! I didn't do any amazing Pinterest crafts, super thoughtful gifts, or family valentines cards. I wanted too, of course I wanted too, but instead of being disappointed today in not doing those things, I'm thankful for the beautiful family I've been given and that they love me despite my imperfections and well intentions that don't always go further than that. No special breakfast before I ran out the door to work, but I did manage to get all three a special candy and scribbled a love note to them in red marker on computer paper before I ran out the door. No special gift for Mike minus some money I saved up so that he could enjoy his guys night out in Reno his past week, but I did manage to not only get a card but write in it and leave it out for him. (I have a box of cards I've bought and never wrote in,ugh) no special date planned, but I get the coffee all ready so all he had to do was turn it on ;-). That, plus a few coloring pages worked on by Bray and I, a cake the kids and I will make tonight, and some phone calls and texts during the day since we will barely see each other today, and I'm nothing short of in love with my three, and grateful that I get to be their Valentine. Not a Pinterest worthy day and no one will want to copy my great ideas, but a great day thinking of how much I am blessed to love these three wonderful people. All this prompted by the phone call I just had from them that made me laugh, smile, and warmed my heart. Brayden telling Daddy that I was all their Valentine, Paytin telling me I Love You after Daddy let her eat M and Ms for breakfast and a hubby that said "ditto" to me for his Valentine's love proclamation while I laughed... I am richly blessed!!!!

Stay awhile longer...

Stay little awhile longer, with your baby chub still there, with your long eyelashes framing your eyes full of wonder. Stay little while longer with your Cheetos stained fingers, chubby baby toes and curious questions. Stay little while longer and let me cuddle you in my arms, and stroke your beautiful blonde locks and giggle with you. Stay little awhile longer, let me kiss all your boo boos away, listen to the storybooks with your wide eyed imaginations and ask for one more kiss, one more hug. Stay little awhile longer in the days where you want to snuggle in our bed, with our Eskimo kisses and our bear hugs, and where you insist on being shown with our hands and arms just how much we love you, though no measurement could even come close.

Oh how I wish you both would just stay right where you are, 4.5 and 20 months old, with all the personality and imagination and dreams and laughter that you bring. I look forward to the bigger children you will become but I know each and every step of the way I will be wishing you could stay little awhile longer my loves!

Firsts

A short and sweet blog post, but one worth noting. Brayden had his first sleepover at a friend's house this past weekend! I should have snapped a picture to document it, but alas, it happened so fast! We went to our friends' house for Super Bowl and our boys are best buds, so when they both asked if Bray could sleep over, we couldn't help but say yes. We didn't head home until about 9, and he had to be dropped off first thing in the morning, so it was literally him just sleeping over. But he was so cute bounding up the stairs the next morning in his jammies with his blanket talking about how much fun he had had at Quinten's house!

Take a Walk

Seems like I've been in a funk, maybe a bit bluesy, or just kind of in a rut for a little while now. Nothing serious, just seems like I have been going through the motions and trying to "get through" things rather then enjoy them. I know everyone goes through times in life like these where you have to work harder to have a joyful heart and see the glass half full instead of half empty. One thing I can say about times like these, is when you find a special "joyful" moment, it can touch your heart in a big way, for no specific reason.

No big journal entry here, but I was able to get home with the kids early enough yesterday to take a walk outside. I have had Spring fever for a couple weeks now and had been dying to get out in the sunshine all week, even if there is still plenty of snow on the ground. Turned out I had a flat tire on the jogging stroller and I explained to Brayden about pumping up a tire and asked him if he wanted to help. He was so excited and it was a great reminder to me again that we can always find joy in the smallest of things, even if they are chores. He laid right down on the asphalt and got plenty dirty trying to figure out just the right way to get it on the tire to get the air in, and was so proud to feel the tire go from "squishy to hard" because he did it right. He was even proud to be all dirty, which usually isn't his favorite thing. It was so sweet to see his face beaming with pride!

On the way home later in the walk, after he had taken the turn to push Paytin in the stroller, he decided to race. I let him get pretty far ahead of me (remind you, we live in a TINY town, so I wasn't worried about traffic or cars), probably about 30-40 feet, and then I asked him to stop and wait for me. He stopped for a second, turned around and explained to me that he was a big boy and he wanted too and could walk home all by himself. He didn't say it arguing, just with a kind of pride in himself and what he knew he was big enough to do. I was really proud of him. It's small I know, but I love seeing him grow up, and watching him  believe in himself, take pride in the new things he is able to do. So I let him keep on walking ahead of us, being able to see him the whole time, except for the end of the walk where Paytin and I just had to race him home....he won :).

Cleaner Upper

Brayden: Mom, can you please throw away my plate in the garbage?
And clean up the mess I made on the table?
...And on the chair?
...And on the floor?
Pretty Please?


Hey, at least he asked, right?

Leave it to Beaver

Since I first saw this quote, I have thought about it daily. Even more than that, I talk about it daily. I found that it resonated so much with a lot of the trials I face outwardly and inwardly that it became became a comfort to repeat this quote to myself and realize how many other people are struggling with this same problem. I think if we are all honest, we've all struggled with this at some point or another. 

I never realized that I was the holder of such high expectations. I've read so many articles on how negatively that can affect your marriage, your parenting, even your own self esteem and yet I never realized that was something I struggled with so much. See, I never thought I was really high maintenance. People gawk at me when I tell them I dont use the same toothpaste, shampoo, makeup, lotion but that I buy whatever is on sale. At any given time I dont have more than 15-20 shirts in my closet and I cant remember a time in my life I owned more than 10 pair of shoes, or even 10 pairs of shoes at all! I am a plain Jane, not by wish, not by trying, not for attention, just because I am. 

But see, I had high expectations of my life without even realizing them. That might be even more dangerous then having high expectations and knowing it! Because, I didn't make my expectations known to myself or others, until I was trying to figure out why I wasn't ok with what was going on in my life. I didn't realize how much I wanted to be a stay at home mom until I had kids, and therefore, didn't plan the best to be able to get there, and have had to work a good amount of the time since I've had kids. I didn't realize how much I wanted to have family dinners every night until my husband worked the night shift and I fed kids at 5:30 and ate dinner with my husband at 8:30 or 9. Those are just two pieces of a rather large pie, but you get the drift. 

I find that I am given daily the opportunity to either be disappointed in my life because it is not what I expected, or embrace new opportunities. I wont lie and say that there aren't plenty of the dissapointed and pitying days, because I wish I was staying at home, or that my husband was home at night, or that we could manage to keep a schedule for more than a week, etc. But there are lots of days to embrace an opportunity to experience the difference in each day, and the opportunity to build new healthier goals that work within your life now, rather than unrealistic dreams that are only set up to let you down. 

I've found that sometimes I dream of the life where I stay home and wear an apron all day cooking and baking and cleaning and my kids play happily and eat every healthy meal and snack I provide to them, and that my husband comes home and plays with them while I finish cooking a delicious and healthy meal, we eat together in joyous unity, share the chores of cleaning up, spend quality time together, before sharing the job of getting kids to bed, and enjoying alone time together. I was looking for Leave it to Beaver....

But see, Leave it to Beaver didn't have Mike, doing a job he is so excellent and gifted at, serving others in his community, even if it takes him away more than we would like, even if its not the schedule we had envisioned. Leave it to Beaver didn't have Brayden or Paytin in it, or our three crazy dogs, or even our small mountain town that gives us the most beautiful seasons even if sometimes I get cabin fever. Sometimes I ask myself why I didn't finish college before I had kids so that right now I wouldn't be struggling so hard to go back, but that wouldn't be MY life. Whatever decisions I've made, God had planned out for me, because this isn't the normal life, this is my life, and it's my job to make it amazing!