7 month photoshoot

This was the first time (I think) for your "month old" pictures that you did not want too cooperate because you were too busy and had other things on your mind. However, you did allow me to get a few "keepers" so I let it slide. The picture I had in my mind, once again, will have to wait, because your feeties just aren't big enough for your cowgirl boots and you kept kicking them off. Also, for some reason, this seemed to be purple themed, unintentionally ;)

Loving on Baby, this is your concentrated face

what you tried to do every five seconds...only once were you victorious when I was trying to grab something else and I got a camera covered in slobber in return ;)

This was the closest I got to the photo I had in my mind, but it made me laugh and smile all at the same time because you look so sweet and girly and inncoent playing with your feeties...who could get grumpy with you?

You love to play with your hands and this photo made me smile too

oh yeah, and your feet, like all the time!

Looking a little unsure, but showing off your growing peach fuzz

Whoops, dont know why that uploaded sideways 

Buried in your stuffies!

What a JOY you are to us beautiful baby girl! We love you more than we could ever tell you and thank God each and every day for blessing us with you!

7 months, 5 to go.

Your Daddy made me sad the other day when he said you weren't a baby anymore. I actually think my eyes got all watery at the comment. I immediately made him take it back, and he did, but the damage was done. You're growing up, already past your half year mark and closer to being one year than you were to just being born. I'm never the Mommy to wish my kids to grow up fast, I don't dream of the days you guys are up and off to college just yet. I know I look forward to that time with your Daddy, but truth be told, you and Brayden are Daddy and my greatest adventure and we love you guys to pieces.

That being said, you are 7 months old and still so totally different from Brayden that you blow our minds. First off, one way you are like him, you are taking your sweet time to sit. I looked back in Brayden's baby book and he wasnt sitting on his own till 7.5 months, looks like you are going to be right there with him, if not even after. You, my sweet baby girl, HATE to sit up. There is to much to do, too much to look at, and too much to reach for for you to maintain your balance for too long and you topple side to side or throw yourself backwards in your way of saying "Enough Mom!" While, I hate to think of you as "behind the pack" I know Brayden did the same thing and is as perfect as can be, so I'm letting you do your thing for now.

Brayden didn't crawl till he was 12 months old, yup, you read that, when most kiddos are walking, your big brother was just starting to crawl. I predicted you would crawl by 9 months, we shall see, but what I didn't see coming was that you would be mobile at 7 months. See, you roll..and you roll, and you roll and you get into things you shouldn't and get stuck in places you shouldn't and I no longer can leave you on the carpet for even a minute without having to check on you. I did that the other day and you got stuck under the couch, and then the next morning, in your room, just to start a load of laundry in the laundry room RIGHT next to where I laid you, and you got stuck under your crib and kept bonking your head on the wood. Oh yeah, and who can forget you trying to already stick your finger in the one light socket I didnt have a plug thingy in.  I wont lie, I'm thrilled that you are moving around in your own unique way and it makes me hope that you will sit and crawl soon but I also know how much more it means I will have to be on my toes, and so I enjoy these baby moments while they last.

Ok, let's get going....

You're 7 months and you...

wear size 3 diapers and just about every size clothing known to man, ok, I'll stop exaggerating, but seriously, you can fit in clothes from 6 months up to 12 months, and...you will hate me for this, you actually regularly wear one specific pair of 12-18 month old leggings you got for Christmas and the even worse part is they FIT you, not big, or baggy, they FIT you Paytin Lily, because we all know what a huge bedonk-a-donk you've got going on. I seriously hear comments about your butt and your thighs on a weekly basis and I'm not even kidding. I digress.

You sleep wrapped in a blanket that you eventually bust out of, and with your pacifier which you can now get in your mouth whenever you want too. You use it when you get fussy, but more often then not like to be grabbing things and putting them in your mouth or talking, so you aren't super attached to your Pacy yet. 

You usually sleep 8-8 with two wake up calls at around 12 and around 330. I've gotten used to it better now and no longer feel like Mommy Zombie most days. You take a pretty regular morning and afternoon nap.

You eat baby food for breakfast and dinner but LOVE snacks even more. Gerber puffs are your second favorite to Mum Mum crackers, which you can hold all yourself. You love to pick up the puffs, but havent quite gotten them to your mouth just yet. You also just started to try to feed yourself with a spoon once I give it to you, and you love it, even though it is quite messy. 

You love when we get right in your face and make silly noises, love when we grab your chunkiness and love it even more when we do "daredevil" type stuff with you, you get this shrill excited laugh/scream going that is just simply hilarious.  You love to talk and love to talk when you think something is really yummy like certain baby food or snacks.

You still love Brayden and Daddy much much more than me and I secretly love that you do, though I do love to give you a hard time about it :). You and I both know how much you have Daddy WRAPPED around your finger and I dont remember him jumping at the sound of Brayden's cry like he does for yours.

You are teaching Brayden a thing or two about sharing and he continues to think you are the best thing in the world. You two are the best of buds already and play together all day long everyday.

You love to be on the floor now that you are moving about. You still like your exersaucer, and now your highchair too, but can almost tip your swing over and quickly leave your playmat.  You stand your bumbo chair in small doses, but I have to keep you thouroughly entertained or you try to make an escape for it. 

You love to grab our faces, and usually, it's super painful. I get scratch marks from you all the itme and actually have to get a good grip on your hand while I feed you or else you yank my nose or try to rip my lip off. I take it as terms of affection since you are always smiling when you do it.

You have a sweet love for your baby doll that Grammy got you for Christmas. You for some strange reason are gentle with it and love to cuddle it and suck on it's thumb. It's stinking A-dorable. You still love your stuffed animals too and love to hug and cuddle them.

You are pickier now about what you eat and I refuse to have another picky eater, so I usually try to find ways to trick you into eating the veggies I have made for you.

You really like the dogs and try to roll to them when you get the chance to snuggle up to them and grab their fur.

You also love stuffed animals, which is why Daddy insisted on getting you a stuffed kitty and a stuffed unicorn as some of your Christmas presents.

You can turn yourself around in a full circle on your stomach to get to what you want to get and just in the last couple of days ahve put some effort into trying to scoot yourself forward. Usually it ends in you flipping over, but a couple of times you have actually scooted.

You have an ultrasound this Friday to have the mass in your chest checked out. I have been handling the whole thing pretty well I think, but for some reason, scheduling the appt made it seem so much more real to me and I feel a lot more scared about it. Thankfully we just have to wait a couple days to have it done, and will find out results next week. God's had you in His hands since before we knew I was carrying you so I am not even going to try to take this on myself. I know He's got you, and I know He knows whats going on and I will trust in Him about it.

Ok, you are yelling at me right now (but in all fairness, you are supposed to be napping) so that's it for month number 7 baby girl! We LOVE you Lilypie!

Catching Up: Pictures (SOOC)

My life, in Willow Tree form (Mike got me the one on the left for Christmas to complete our little family)

I'm thankful for the no snow, and for heaters, because who really wants to cover thighs like these up with pants?! That's just crazy talk!

Brayden's favorite past time these days; bike riding. He got this bicycle with training wheels for Christmas and has surpirsed us with how quickly he took to it, after a few good crashes, he has the art of not cranking the handlebars when turning, down pat!

He also loves his razor scooter from Grandma and Grandpa! Getting great use out of these toys when we should be buried in snow already! I am NOT complaining!

Playing at the park with his good friend Mikayla. They are SO sweet together!

Paytin helping me bake. She took a great liking to this spatula that actually goes to my baby food machine. It was so flexible and gummy that she enjoyed gnawing on it for almost 20 minutes while I baked muffins!

Who could resist that ADORABLE face? I sure can't! (Notice her rocking her new headband that Mommy made for her? She makes it look flawless even though it's not ;) )

I am so glad I caught this picture because it just cracks me up. "Mom, what are YOU looking at? Can't you see I'm chilling with my brother?!"

Trying to feed herself and looking pretty darn sweet doing it (notice the arm chunk?!)

This one needs some lightening, but it's adorable none the less, love my full of life little peanut!

It's quiet in my house...

It's never quiet in my house. There is always a kiddo playing or jibber jabbering, a dog scratching or yawning, a hubby working or chatting, a heater running, a background noise, a heater, dishwasher, or dryer....and yet, it's quiet. Completely silent.

I don't "do" silence. As much as I love to be a homebody these days, I dont like to sit. I dont like to stop and think.  If I'm going to stop and actually take a break, c'mon, I'm going to SLEEP! But this revelation is nothing new to me. I'm not so much a busy body as I used to be, but something my "wise old age" has taught me, is how I tend to be uncomfortable just sitting, and being, and thinking. Not very biblical right? But really, silence. Nothing left to hide in, nothing to distract me, just me and my thoughts. Babies sleeping, hubby working, all the machines turned off, dogs asleep in their beds.  And it's actually peaceful.

See, let me dive into a deep topic that I probably don't have time to write about, and that I'm sure you dont have time to read about, but I'll crack the surface of anyways because it's been on my mind.

The internet lies.

I have an iPhone, a Macbook, and a PC. It's not news to anyone that I lives hundreds of miles away from many and most of my family and dearest friends and that I love to keep in touch with them in my "world in a box" as I like to call it. I love to see what they are up too, let them know what we are up too, and just in general keep in touch. Now, when I post on the blog, or Facebook, I don't lie. It wouldn't make sense too.  If I am going to take the time to type, I'm gonna tell you something that's really happening. But chances are, I'm not going to tell you whats not happening that I wish it was, my deepest and darkest fears, what I've been struggling with lately, what I ate wrong that day, how I treated someone and shouldn't, what words shouldnt have come out of my mouth, and so forth. Chances are, 9/10 times you are going to hear how cute and awesome my kids are, and how amazing and wonderful my hubby is (both, true stories, hehe) And chances are, it's going to be the same for you. We might even post about our bad days, or our kids tantrums or the recipe we really messed up. But we're not going to just flat out say "I felt worthless today and felt like I failed at everything I tried my hand at."

Now, just to throw it out there, I would have never posted this post, if I didnt have some awesome women in my life that said hey, that's me too. Because, we just dont talk like this, right? We live in a world where communication is at our fingertips and phone calls and letters are out the window because typing is so much easier. And I've heard the spiels about how impersonal online conversation can be. It's true, but it's much deeper than that.

See, with two kids, three dogs, a husband, and a pet snake (I throw her in for good measure, though she causes me no work at all) a house, bills, and everything that comes with all those things, I just dont have extra time. Though I post on Facebook a lot, it's never while I'm not doing something else. I never just sit at the computer and post anymore, unless its uploading pictures from my camera. But it's not just me, none of us have time. And thank God for modern technology right? Because really, we wouldnt have time for anyone anymore if it weren't for facebook and texting and blog posts and emails.

But what we're losing, is the sound of your friend's voice when they say "Yeah, everything's fine" that tells you no, not everything is fine. Or the ability for the conversation to take a sudden turn to the deeper things that you really wanted to say to that loved one. What we're missing is the chance to not just type a quick question or say a quick hello, but enter in to a conversation with that person, and spend quality time listening and talking. We're missing that "quality time" aspect, when we intentionally put other things on hold to focus on one person, one conversation at a time, instead of checking updates from 10's of people at a time.

Know what I've heard more in the past 6 months than I would have ever imagined from friends and love ones of mine? Things like: you seem like you have it all together, how do you have time to do that stuff with the kids, you are so skinny, you went straight back to your old body, how do you find all the time in the day... And no, I'm not saying that happens all the time, or even super often, but it's happened. And each time, its been on one of my worst days, and each time, it's been one of those lose the air in my lungs kind of feelings. Should I take the compliment and run? Should I run with it and not look back and tell them what's really going on and how wrong they are? Am I really coming off like I have it together? I was sure everyone could tell I was falling apart at the seams. And instead, quite a few times, it's lead to some deep conversations that included phrases like: I feel the exact same way, I had no idea, I felt like I was the only person feeling like that,....

like I was the only person failing....

What? It's not just me? While that shouldn't make me feel better, it does. Not in the sense that I want you to be in pain or having hard times, but I felt like I was the only one treading water and sinking. I felt like the only one that wasn't living up to their own expectations.

And the handful of times that has happened, it's been the women I was comparing myself too, the ones I was looking at and thinking, why can't I just have it all together like them. And here they were, telling me the same things. Wow. Suddenly Facebook and Blogging and Texts didn't seem to hold a candle to these intimate, personal and revealing conversations. Suddenly the years that I have been on Facebook, felt like they could have been thrown away without being missed at all. Because this is what matters; this is what's real. And it's only one part of it, the part that fits into my life where I'm at right now.

That wives/moms/women out there feel like they are not enough, feel like they are failing, feel like they can't compare to the other women in their lives because they don't know those women's whole picture. Forget the super models, athletes, singers, we're just talking about wanting to get through a few hours, a few days, and even a week feeling like we have things under control and are making headway in the right direction. And the thing is, is that some of them, many of them, should I say most of those women, me included, are feeling like this, often, not in a depressed, worthless kind of way, but just in a, why can't I be better, down on themselves, not being realistic kind of way, and no one knows. Not the friend whose wall you just posted on, not the one who just texted you that super cute pic of her kid, not the one whose blog you spent 20 minutes catching up on this morning. The people you might consider to be your close friends, the people you might know to be family.

We're all "talking" everyday, and a lot of us would even say we're listening too...

but what aren't we saying and what aren't we hearing?

Working Mind

I love the way Brayden's mind works. He says the funniest things and comes up with the silliest ideas and is such a joy to my heart! He is always saying things that I find sweet, thoughtful, funny, and I need to be better about jotting them down.

Here's a couple "fresh" ones:

Today, he ran up to me and handed me two dried up pieces of play-dough saying "Here Mama, these are for you. They're like crackers." So cute that he made that observation.

Tonight, Dottie, our dachshund, had been put outside in trouble because she ate one of the crackers off Brayden's plate while he was eating dinner. I was telling Mike about it, and Brayden went running off to the backdoor the let Dottie in saying: "It's ok, it was an accident." Which Mike and I both thought to be very cute and forgiving. Only to hear once he let her in "Dottie, you no eat my crackers anymore. One more time and you'll be in big trouble." We just busted out laughing...he was shaking his finger and all.

Then, here's the one that sparked this post in the first place. Tonight, after his bath, I promised to play Candyland with Brayden (one of his Christmas gifts). He doesnt totally get the concept as he still really struggles with colors, but he's working on both learning the colors, and learning the game. So anyways, he won fair and square with me trailing far behind. He got really excited when he won and jumped up and down and then immediately sat back down and said "You no win Mommy." And got a somber look on his face. Then, he did the sweetest thing a 3 year old could do, he walked his little blue Candyland guy, back to mine on the board, and then walked them together to the finish line and then yelled "We both win!" Nothing can quite make a Mama's heart soar like unconditional love from your children, and watching them learn Biblical truths like gentleness, meekness, humility, etc. It was one Candyland game, I know, and I'm not blowing it out of proportion, but it was very sweet and a cherished memory :)

Christmas 2011

Christmas was different and new and exciting this year. Different, as my mom came down to visit for Christmas! I can't remember the last time I was able to spend a Christmas morning with her, years and years ago to say the least and it was such a blessing to have her in our home to celebrate with us! New, because it was Paytin's very first Christmas and the first Christmas Brayden really "got" Santa and understood he was coming! And exciting, because with two young kiddos, a mountain of gifts, a tradition of singing Happy Birthday to Jesus over Cinnamon Rolls, and new toys to play with for all, who wouldn't have a great time?!

Christmas Eve was relaxing and wonderful. Mike wasn't feeling the greatest but we were all able to enjoy the evening together. Mike made a delicious dinner for us to enjoy, we got the kids in their jammies and went to look at Christmas lights, Brayden and I made cookies for Santa, we got some adorable pictures of Paytin in her Christmas tutu, and we watched the Charlie Brown Christmas (tradition) together. We also enjoyed our brand new Night Before Christmas book (one of those ones that you can record yourself reading), even though it kept malfunctioning and Mike and my mom and I couldnt stop laughing. Then after the kids and Grammy went to bed, Santa's elves went to work getting everything ready for the big morning!

After I nursed Paytin around 2ish in the morning, I was so excited it took me almost 2 hours to fall back asleep!

Christmas morning did not dissapoint in the slightest :). It was everything I hoped for and so much more. I tend to build things like holidays up in my mind, wanting them to go the perfect way, and am sometimes dissapointed when everything doesnt go according to "my" plan, but I had resolved to be flexible and ENJOY the moments and in that, everything went perfectly! Brayden came running downstairs after Mike and I finally had to wake him up around 8, to see his table and chairs and new bike with training wheels that Santa had left him, he was so excited and very very happy and then got to open his stocking as we all opened ours. He kind of had a look about him and said quietly, "Santa didn't bring me my plane." Not too sad or anything, but very matter of factly. It was SO sweet and SO cute and something I will remember. See, growing up in my house, Santa left all the presents unwrapped under the tree, but at Mike's house, Santa wrapped some of the presents and left others out. So in creating our own family traditions, we went ahead and wrapped some and left some unwrapped. Santa had simply wrapped Brayden's plane in Santa's special wrapping paper! He has been asking for this plane from Santa for about 6 weeks, and after seeing Santa twice in person to tell him he would like a plane, and getting a letter in the mail from Santa that he was on the good list, and then getting a video from Santa, his heart really was set on this plane "from the Cars movie with Finn in it". It was a $20 plane, and the fact that it was a cheap gift that he asked for, that he wanted with all his heart, was just SO endearing and precious to me. He loves that plane and I love the magic that it embodies, the Christmas magic :). Stockings are something that we grew up having in our family. Santa would fill them with goodies when he stopped by on Christmas night, but Mike's family didnt do stockings. That's another tradition we love in our family and have decided to carry on, like an advent calendar and other such things.
After the inital fun that Santa had come, we enjoyed opening our wonderful gifts from our loved ones and not one person was anything short of ecstatic. Even our sweet little Paytin who was just smitten with her very first baby doll from Grammy. She immediately starting hugging it and sucking on its thumb and hand ;).

Mike's family joined us at our house that afternoon for us to all open presents together then as well. Brayden went out and rode his first "big boy" bike that Santa had brought him, and his awesome Razor scooter from Grandma and Grandpa while sporting his rocking shark helmet from Mike's folks. It was just so much fun, so so so much fun and I was constantly reminded all day long, completly aside from the material things we were blessed with, just how MUCH and how MANY people we are truly blessed by, and how much we have to be thankful for. I loved hearing Brayden talk about how Jesus shares presents with us on His birthday, and that thats why we have a star on our tree, really just brought the whole day full circle for me :). I don't know how our 2012 Christmas could be any better than this one, but I'm already looking forward to it!!!

6 month check up...

So, I know I really did start this post, but I probably didnt finish it and it looks like it got lost in cyber space. Anyways. Paytin had her 6 month check up on the 19th of December and it went pretty well! She is a growing girl and weighed in at 15 lbs 13.5 oz, 26 inches long. 50% for both weight and height, and though  I didnt get her head measurement, her head was in the 75% percentile!

Paytin is still having a little (very little) trouble with her torticollis keeping her off balance, but the doctors and Mike and I are not concerned about it at all. It's the mildest form it can be and really only bothers her on days/times when she sleeps wrong.

The other concern is a mass that Paytin has developed in her chest. I'm not sure if I have posted about this before so sorry if this is a repeat post.  About a week after Halloween, I noticed the left side of Paytin's chest looked a little puffy, and upon putting lotion on her after her bath, I found a small pea sized mass on the left side of her chest, right about her nipple area. It is blue/purple in color, but isn't on the surface and is able to be moved around a little bit when touched. It gives her no pain whatsoever, and she has no reaction to it when the doctors or I have checked it out. Anyways, I took her into the doctor for it, and our pediatrician (whom I Love!) decided she wanted a second opinion. Another dr came in and looked at it and just wanted it noted in her chart and measured for the time being. At P's 6 month check, our pediatrician noticed (as have I, since I check it daily to look for any changes) that there was no change in size, color, shape, etc. but still wanted another dr in the office to look at it. He again, said we shouldnt worry about it, but because it's onset was so quick, and because of the area it's in, that we could get an ultrasound done to just confirm that its a cyst. So, we talked about it and decided that is going to be our next course of action. Paytin has a recheck in a couple weeks and at that time I am going to go ahead and schedule an ultrasound at the hospital for her.

So, really, even with the long story, Paytin is doing great and is as healthy as a horse! Everyone comments on her super chubby bootie and thighs, even her doctor and nurses and how simply HAPPY she is all the time. As long as she's fed, she's the happiest little girl in the world.

And since I'm updating on her right now anyways, I might as well say that she is pretty much sitting now! Only for a few minutes at a time and then she will topple over, but she has made quite a few strides in the last couple days that really show how close she is!! She has also shown the tiniest interest in crawling in the last couple days too, really gotten her legs going and pushed a good few times! So fun to watch this stage. She also has developed a LOVE over the last two weeks for Gerber puffs. Brayden really enjoyed them too. Daddy doesn't love her having them because he always worries she's going to choke, but she hasn't at all, just an overprotective Daddy already :).

Ok, the little Lilybug is taking a short nap before dinner and I realized how far behind I am in "word" blogging, so I thought I would get to it! More to come about Christmas, Brayden's new Bike, etc!