Bright Orange Ball

We were having a family get together tonight for the February birthdays in the family and I ran to the grocery store for a "few" things that turned into a weeks worth of shopping. While making my way through the store, I saw one of those bins of balls they occasionally carry. Nothing special about them at all but I impulsively bought a $2.99 bright orange ball for the kids to enjoy.

I should have known when I helped bag my groceries and then the cashier totally accidentally voided the entire transaction after everything was scanned and then bagged by yours truly to watch out. Krazy Kincaid moments go hand in hand and I should have been on the lookout...

But I loaded up my groceries and headed home, so excited about that insignificant bright orange ball in the backseat to surprise my kids with. I pulled up at home, and impulsively again decided to throw the keys in my purse, hit the unlock button and was going to just walk that bright orange ball in first without grabbing my purse.

Whoops, this blonde accidentally hit the "lock" button and by the time I realized it, the damage was done. My purse sat there in the passenger seat teasing me with how the keys shone in the sunlight. The cold beer and ice cream cake mocked me from the backseat, and there sat that bright orange ball, just out of touch.

An hour later, a tow truck driver, a kid who had a great time watching our vehicle getting "broken" into, a very patient hubby, chalking it up to a blonde moment, finally at last the bright orange ball found its way to its new home and was so well loved and played with that it was all worth it in the end.

Sometimes these insignificant life stories are my favorites and we seem to have a lot of them. But as I watched Bray and Pay playing with that ball this afternoon all I could do was chuckle at what had happened!

O Happy Day

Another Valentines Day, and another year older for my Main Squeeze! I didn't do any amazing Pinterest crafts, super thoughtful gifts, or family valentines cards. I wanted too, of course I wanted too, but instead of being disappointed today in not doing those things, I'm thankful for the beautiful family I've been given and that they love me despite my imperfections and well intentions that don't always go further than that. No special breakfast before I ran out the door to work, but I did manage to get all three a special candy and scribbled a love note to them in red marker on computer paper before I ran out the door. No special gift for Mike minus some money I saved up so that he could enjoy his guys night out in Reno his past week, but I did manage to not only get a card but write in it and leave it out for him. (I have a box of cards I've bought and never wrote in,ugh) no special date planned, but I get the coffee all ready so all he had to do was turn it on ;-). That, plus a few coloring pages worked on by Bray and I, a cake the kids and I will make tonight, and some phone calls and texts during the day since we will barely see each other today, and I'm nothing short of in love with my three, and grateful that I get to be their Valentine. Not a Pinterest worthy day and no one will want to copy my great ideas, but a great day thinking of how much I am blessed to love these three wonderful people. All this prompted by the phone call I just had from them that made me laugh, smile, and warmed my heart. Brayden telling Daddy that I was all their Valentine, Paytin telling me I Love You after Daddy let her eat M and Ms for breakfast and a hubby that said "ditto" to me for his Valentine's love proclamation while I laughed... I am richly blessed!!!!

Stay awhile longer...

Stay little awhile longer, with your baby chub still there, with your long eyelashes framing your eyes full of wonder. Stay little while longer with your Cheetos stained fingers, chubby baby toes and curious questions. Stay little while longer and let me cuddle you in my arms, and stroke your beautiful blonde locks and giggle with you. Stay little awhile longer, let me kiss all your boo boos away, listen to the storybooks with your wide eyed imaginations and ask for one more kiss, one more hug. Stay little awhile longer in the days where you want to snuggle in our bed, with our Eskimo kisses and our bear hugs, and where you insist on being shown with our hands and arms just how much we love you, though no measurement could even come close.

Oh how I wish you both would just stay right where you are, 4.5 and 20 months old, with all the personality and imagination and dreams and laughter that you bring. I look forward to the bigger children you will become but I know each and every step of the way I will be wishing you could stay little awhile longer my loves!

Firsts

A short and sweet blog post, but one worth noting. Brayden had his first sleepover at a friend's house this past weekend! I should have snapped a picture to document it, but alas, it happened so fast! We went to our friends' house for Super Bowl and our boys are best buds, so when they both asked if Bray could sleep over, we couldn't help but say yes. We didn't head home until about 9, and he had to be dropped off first thing in the morning, so it was literally him just sleeping over. But he was so cute bounding up the stairs the next morning in his jammies with his blanket talking about how much fun he had had at Quinten's house!

Take a Walk

Seems like I've been in a funk, maybe a bit bluesy, or just kind of in a rut for a little while now. Nothing serious, just seems like I have been going through the motions and trying to "get through" things rather then enjoy them. I know everyone goes through times in life like these where you have to work harder to have a joyful heart and see the glass half full instead of half empty. One thing I can say about times like these, is when you find a special "joyful" moment, it can touch your heart in a big way, for no specific reason.

No big journal entry here, but I was able to get home with the kids early enough yesterday to take a walk outside. I have had Spring fever for a couple weeks now and had been dying to get out in the sunshine all week, even if there is still plenty of snow on the ground. Turned out I had a flat tire on the jogging stroller and I explained to Brayden about pumping up a tire and asked him if he wanted to help. He was so excited and it was a great reminder to me again that we can always find joy in the smallest of things, even if they are chores. He laid right down on the asphalt and got plenty dirty trying to figure out just the right way to get it on the tire to get the air in, and was so proud to feel the tire go from "squishy to hard" because he did it right. He was even proud to be all dirty, which usually isn't his favorite thing. It was so sweet to see his face beaming with pride!

On the way home later in the walk, after he had taken the turn to push Paytin in the stroller, he decided to race. I let him get pretty far ahead of me (remind you, we live in a TINY town, so I wasn't worried about traffic or cars), probably about 30-40 feet, and then I asked him to stop and wait for me. He stopped for a second, turned around and explained to me that he was a big boy and he wanted too and could walk home all by himself. He didn't say it arguing, just with a kind of pride in himself and what he knew he was big enough to do. I was really proud of him. It's small I know, but I love seeing him grow up, and watching him  believe in himself, take pride in the new things he is able to do. So I let him keep on walking ahead of us, being able to see him the whole time, except for the end of the walk where Paytin and I just had to race him home....he won :).

Cleaner Upper

Brayden: Mom, can you please throw away my plate in the garbage?
And clean up the mess I made on the table?
...And on the chair?
...And on the floor?
Pretty Please?


Hey, at least he asked, right?

Leave it to Beaver

Since I first saw this quote, I have thought about it daily. Even more than that, I talk about it daily. I found that it resonated so much with a lot of the trials I face outwardly and inwardly that it became became a comfort to repeat this quote to myself and realize how many other people are struggling with this same problem. I think if we are all honest, we've all struggled with this at some point or another. 

I never realized that I was the holder of such high expectations. I've read so many articles on how negatively that can affect your marriage, your parenting, even your own self esteem and yet I never realized that was something I struggled with so much. See, I never thought I was really high maintenance. People gawk at me when I tell them I dont use the same toothpaste, shampoo, makeup, lotion but that I buy whatever is on sale. At any given time I dont have more than 15-20 shirts in my closet and I cant remember a time in my life I owned more than 10 pair of shoes, or even 10 pairs of shoes at all! I am a plain Jane, not by wish, not by trying, not for attention, just because I am. 

But see, I had high expectations of my life without even realizing them. That might be even more dangerous then having high expectations and knowing it! Because, I didn't make my expectations known to myself or others, until I was trying to figure out why I wasn't ok with what was going on in my life. I didn't realize how much I wanted to be a stay at home mom until I had kids, and therefore, didn't plan the best to be able to get there, and have had to work a good amount of the time since I've had kids. I didn't realize how much I wanted to have family dinners every night until my husband worked the night shift and I fed kids at 5:30 and ate dinner with my husband at 8:30 or 9. Those are just two pieces of a rather large pie, but you get the drift. 

I find that I am given daily the opportunity to either be disappointed in my life because it is not what I expected, or embrace new opportunities. I wont lie and say that there aren't plenty of the dissapointed and pitying days, because I wish I was staying at home, or that my husband was home at night, or that we could manage to keep a schedule for more than a week, etc. But there are lots of days to embrace an opportunity to experience the difference in each day, and the opportunity to build new healthier goals that work within your life now, rather than unrealistic dreams that are only set up to let you down. 

I've found that sometimes I dream of the life where I stay home and wear an apron all day cooking and baking and cleaning and my kids play happily and eat every healthy meal and snack I provide to them, and that my husband comes home and plays with them while I finish cooking a delicious and healthy meal, we eat together in joyous unity, share the chores of cleaning up, spend quality time together, before sharing the job of getting kids to bed, and enjoying alone time together. I was looking for Leave it to Beaver....

But see, Leave it to Beaver didn't have Mike, doing a job he is so excellent and gifted at, serving others in his community, even if it takes him away more than we would like, even if its not the schedule we had envisioned. Leave it to Beaver didn't have Brayden or Paytin in it, or our three crazy dogs, or even our small mountain town that gives us the most beautiful seasons even if sometimes I get cabin fever. Sometimes I ask myself why I didn't finish college before I had kids so that right now I wouldn't be struggling so hard to go back, but that wouldn't be MY life. Whatever decisions I've made, God had planned out for me, because this isn't the normal life, this is my life, and it's my job to make it amazing!