Another Night-Time Post

I'm laughing as I start this, and wondering if the average person laughs at themselves as much as I do. I'm trying to keep my little resolution to myself to blog more, but its my friends and family who have encouraged me to keep typing, so thank you!

I laughed because again, I start a blog in my mind and like my vagabond soul, I really could write this post on twenty different things tonight, because there's of course always something to talk about, but which thing should I pick?

Thank you for your private messages and notes about my accident post. I've probably read it about a dozen times since I wrote it because as therapeutic as writing it was, reading it kind of helps me process it because I feel like I am reading someone else's account of an accident, a story, and helps me remove myself from it. I've had no more nightmares since writing it, but driving is a daily struggle for me. I know it will be easier as time goes. Mike reminded me that it was "weather conditions" that caused the accident, ie ice, so its understandable that I am still nervous to drive since its still cold outside. I had to drive in white out conditions the other night and went to sleep over 2 hours early that night because it was so stressful for me. But it's getting better; thanks for the prayers.

Before I lose myself in whatever late night ramblings I can become passionate about on the drop of a dime, something I've been wanting to do for MONTHS is a very brief (hey, a girl can try to be brief) catch up on the kids, a paragraph in a baby book, a snap shot into their little personalities right now.

Brayden, 5.5 years old. We just signed him up for T-Ball. Kindergarten 1/2 days. He loves school, and loves his teacher, went through a very short period earlier in the year of not wanting to go but it only lasted a couple of weeks. He's back to loving it now. He never wants to talk about it when he gets in the car after school, it's like pulling teeth to get him to say what they did that day besides "play". He will always tell me what they did at recess, play zombies (I'm sorry, I have to laugh), play tag, and his favorite, play cops and robbers. He's probably the smallest boy in his class, but I love that he doesn't seem to even notice that. But school is a struggle for him academically. I love how his teacher put it to me this week: what Brayden lacks in knowledge, he makes up for in attitude. She told me he doesn't get discouraged or upset if he doesn't get it, that he will gladly try again. That's what I want to hear. He loves math (hear that Grandpa?) but is having a hard time with language. Mike and I are trying to learn how best to help him along from home. At this point we don't think we will retain him in Kinder another year but we will see how the rest of the school year goes. Bray's a social butterfly and even though he is the firstborn, he wants to be played with or he really doesn't want to "play" at all. Mike and I are not "gamer" type people, but Bray loves his video games. But he loves to be watched, and be played with when he plays them. We just got cable TV back (to my dismay) so I have to be careful in how much we allow him to watch or he'd watch all the time. Brayden is sensitive to the core, and has this streak of compassion and empathy, that when he feels it and shows it, gives me such great pride. Paytin is going to be his biggest challenge in life, being a big brother to someone with such a commanding, bossy personality. He is more the follower, her the leader. He's more sensitive, she's the trampler. It's fun watching them play; she makes him brave and he reigns her in. They are good for each other, albeit very exhausting. Brayden is a Momma's boy to a fault but has a very special relationship with Mike that brings out his competitive side. Even though I'm the one to kiss the boo boo's and the one he talks out his feelings with, the pride he has in Mike being his Dad, in Mike being a cop, in Mike being big and strong and a superhero in Bray's eyes is something so very special it melts me. Bray is far more like his Dad than either Mike or Bray see and it's fun to watch, like my own little secret ;).

Paytin is a whirlwind. She's 2.5 and I just shake my head when I think what I could possibly type about her. She's trouble and nothing but it, from her attitude, to her adorable ringlets, to her piercing blue eyes, to her pout. She has an attitude that explodes from her tiny little body, and a stubborn streak that leaves Mike and I's jaw's open more often than not. We look at each other and shrug and ask each other what to do with her on a daily basis. She's the princess that got the big bad daddy who said he'd never get a cat, to get a baby kitten. She loves animals, some days she loves princesses, and she always wants whatever Brayden has, or is interested in. She wants to be just like him on most days, though I'm not sure if its because she loves him so much or because she wants to bug him. She is a busy body and likes simply to get into things and not really play with them. She LOVES baths, and hot dogs. Another way her and Brayden are totally different. Paytin is a steak and eggs girl. She's a carnivore. She'll eat whatever I'm fixing for Mike and I long before she eats kid food, ok, minus hot dogs. But Brayden on the otherhand wants only processed food, or kid food. Paytin is not a dessert girl and Brayden would eat nothing but sweets if I let him, haha. Back to P, she sleeps with us, and has gotten away with it because of her breathing problems but its hard on this Momma's sleep so I'm hoping to change that soon. She takes at least one bath a day, sometimes 3-4, really. Sometimes that's the only way I get things done. And she wears about 4 pairs of shoes a day, and goes through roughly 4 outfits. She loves to get dressed and undressed.  She is her Daddy's girl. In the same way that Brayden has Mike's sensitive side (not many people see), his perfectionist side, his organized side, Paytin has his tough side, his commanding personality, and already some of his wit. She is just tough, ie why she got to stand in the corner today, fists clenched at her side, because she decided to deck me in the nose in the middle of the driveway for no good reason. Oh boy. She grits her teeth and furrows her brow, and if she wasn't really being so darn defiant she'd be the cutest thing you ever saw. She's not potty trained, but not far from it. She's a cruddy sleeper and I wish she would take a normal nap, seems her abundance of energy only exhausts me. But Mike gets her, the same way that I get Bray. We love our kids equally no doubt, but when Mike is about to throw in his towel not understanding Brayden, I get him, and when I have thrown in my towel not being able to deal with Pay, Mike gets her. I'm grateful for that...

Whew...why is blogging so exhausting? I think I'm gonna end this post right here and pick up somewhere else. I hope to do some mini posts too. A funny thing a kid said or did, a revelation, a resolution, what have you. But hopefully some short, medium and long posts in no particular order!